Black History Month 2026: What is Love?
Day 3
“Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that” [1].
The above is one of the most frequently shared quotes by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr (MLK). Unfortunately, it’s often shared in bad faith by either conservatives or “centrists/moderates” to shame their (usually Black) detractors into silence. It’s also the origin of the phrase, “don’t fight hate with hate,” which is another often used in bad faith. For these people, “hate” is defined as “disagreeing with me in a way that makes me uncomfortable” and “love” is defined as “allowing me to say whatever I want without any sort of accountability.”
But what did MLK really mean?
It turns out he meant the exact opposite. MLK believed silence and inaction in the case of injustice were forms of hate, and disagreement and accountability were forms of love. In fact, he believed you couldn’t have beloved community (his ultimate goal) without these.
MLK believed the silence of his friends was worse than the words of his enemies. He has multiple quotes discussing the problems with the “wh1te moderate.” He expressed frustration with their devotion to order and the “absence of tension,” which he described as “negative peace” [1]. Just before his assassination, he explained that the riots in Watts were the result of wh1te inaction. Their decision not to move forward with racial and economic equality and instead continue the war in Vietnam represented a broken promise to Black people, which caused them to lose faith in peaceful protests. The riots were the result [2]. Additionally, MLK believed wh1te silence enabled racism and violence against Black people. This is what he believed to be hatred.
So what is love? MLK believed in three types of love: eros, philia, and agape. Eros was romantic love. Philia was love between friends. Agape was the type of love needed for creating and maintaining a community [3]. MLK used agape love as the basis for his racial/social justice work. He believed fighting for and establishing justice was necessary for agape love. This included holding people accountable for their actions, even if said accountability made them uncomfortable [4]. This required talking through disagreements and creating tension for the sake of forming a better society. Refusing to hold racists (and other bigots) accountable would be the silence and inaction that led to the riots in Watts. Holding them accountable means having conversations about bigotry, even if it means hurting people’s feelings. It means calling out the silence and hypocrisy of those who claim to stand for justice but doing absolutely nothing to progress towards it.
To use some modern examples, calling out people who claim to be against racism for being silent about what ICE is doing to people isn’t hatred. Calling out the “save our children” and “pro-life” crowds for their silence regarding the Epstein files isn’t hatred. Calling out people for being unwilling to listen to Black people when they talk about racism isn’t hatred. All of these are examples of accountability. All of these are examples of love.
Sources:
[1] “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
[2] “Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?” by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
[3] https://thekingcenter.org/about-tkc/the-king-philosophy/
[4] https://theconversation.com/mlks-vision-of-love-as-a-moral-imperative-still-matters-89946