Black History Month 2026: Boundaries

Day 5

Tone police/concern trolls love to tell Black (and other marginalized) people standing up for themselves and their rights "alienates potential allies." This is a bluff.

For starters, they don't determine who your "potential allies" are. YOU DO! You're allowed to have boundaries. You're allowed to exclude people from your groups, movements, struggles, etc. if they make you feel uncomfortable--or for any reason at all. In fact, you don't need a reason! Saying "no" to someone doesn't require an explanation.

Even if these people were in a position to determine who your allies are, the burden of proof is on them to prove your actions are alienating those people. "Well it's making people uneasy." So what? Them feeling uneasy is not the same as them feeling unalienated. And even if it was, they would still need to prove you're making people uneasy.

The next time someone tells you you're "alienating potential allies," all you need to tell them is they aren't qualified to tell you who your allies are!